If rectification does not place, the feeling of offense can be an effect. Repetition strengthens the associated neural connections and certain reactions become automatic. First of all, if I didn’t dare to offend, I couldn’t be honest. Perhaps that’s a good thing. “If someone cannot respect that, trauma or not, we need to be willing to let them work that out themselves.”. “What you can do is love them the best that you can and try to understand where they’re coming from so that you don’t completely shut them out.”. (1977) Self-efficacy: toward a unifying theory of behavior change. They don’t know how to ask for what they want in healthy ways. And being the more vocal community, they’ve helped mold the prevailing sentiment that being offended is either narcissistic, weak… The point of the post is to shine light on the fact that being offended does nothing to change your situation. There is autonomy with our feelings. We don't always recognize an imbalance in our mindset for what it is. And if that doesn’t happen, they feel slighted.”. As a therapist I know that we do not have full control over a visceral reaction but we do have the power to make choices. Feeling offended: A blow to our image and our social relationships. It is not the purpose of this article to get into those opinions and ideas on those topics, but to explore what it means and the psychology behind getting ‘offended’. I overreact and I punish people for not giving me what I want. This is a particularly tricky endeavor. The offended person attempts to determine the intensity of the feeling of the offense which is based on one’s belief of self and whether the offender holds those same beliefs. It’s much easier to make it other people’s fault and look at it as an injustice because that’s what they’ve felt all their life. “When people get offended, it’s not personal,” added Nelson. Being too easily offended is a form of self-victimization. The latter are, dare we say, offended by people who get offended. Researchers have defined offense as a feeling that is “triggered by a blow to a person’s honor” because it contradicts a person’s self-concept and identity (Poggi & D’Errico, 2018). It usually indicates poor understanding of one's own emotions in favor of the strategy of trying to change the behavior of others.But, since we're all autonomous beings, we are only able to change ourselves--this includes how we understand and react to the world around us. Though these personality types often come across as bullies or hellraisers, psychologist Jalisa Barnes says that they’re often the most sensitive. “People get addicted to feeling offended all the time because it gives them a high; being self-righteous and morally superior feels good.” ― Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life We can take it or leave it. This in turn, causes one to be frustrated and possibly take offense when another, who is strongly assertive, takes charge. They rarely speak of it, but they use it all the time, and it is fundamental to good mental health. For people who are not used to advocating for their own needs or ideas, this task can seem daunting. We take offense. In my experience, the people who like to complain about others being offended are actually upset that others can now express offense at their behavior, where before they had to suck it up and take the abuse from more privileged people. But let’s face it, we live in a world where psychodynamics are what make the world go around. The professional counselor: a process guide to helping (8th ed.). I credit the author Lou Marinoff (1999) with the important idea that our being offended by others is not the same as being harmed by them. DD. It’s very easy to write these personality types off as miserable, especially when their behavior is hurtful and divisive at times. Although there are multiple reasons we choose to take offense, some of which are listed above, we still have a choice. “When people get offended, it’s not you. Kenworthy T, Adams CE, Bilby C, Brooks-Gordon B, Fenton M. Kenworthy T, et al. Of course, being empathetic doesn’t mean taking on their baggage or subjecting yourself to abuse. We have the right to feel and the choice to choose our response. Yes, this is psychodynamic. An individual who wishes to live successfully in the world as a spiritual person really needs to understand that psychology is as spiritualas prayer. Ouch! When the self-concept is challenged, one will question perceptions of self and insecurities ensue. Shortly after taking that nine-hour drive across several states, I realized that we wouldn’t be hanging out much at all. Continue … Belmont, CA: Thompson Learning, Inc. Hackney, H. L., & Cormier, S. (2017). A pastor was called unfriendly and therefore unloving because he didn’t always say hello to certain people on Sunday morning. So often we assume that auntie so and so is unhappy and she just wants to make others unhappy so that she has company. If you go through History and study the trends of human behavior you will notice the following : * Never has man been so keen on documenting his activities even though he has not received anything significant in life. But instead of being able to acknowledge what is taking place internally, they end up focusing on what is taking place externally. As I ponder back over my forty-odd years on this planet, I can’t really remember going lengths of time without feeling offended. It’s a verbal phrase. Social & Personality Psychology Compass, 11(6), 1-16. T… “She’s just like that,” another relative said to me after I shared the text message. Being easily offended leads to a reactive and defensive culture, rather than a positive transformative culture – conversations are defined by what you are against rather than what you are for (it’s safer) How do you cope? This may provide an explanation as to why some may not take offense or take less offense to comments or behaviors made by people whom we see as equals, friends. Psychological Review, 84(2), 191–215. Despite this overt sensitivity to how they are treated, the easily offended don’t like to command certain treatment. ThoughtHub is a collection of knowledge to help you learn more about your favorite topics. There is an ancient and well-kept secret to happiness which the Great Ones have known for centuries. University of Illinois educational psychology professor Kiel Christianson found in a recent study that readers' likelihood of being offended by taboo words … And if you are offended by what a person says, it's a personal problem, your personal problem – not the person who “offended" you. We have a choice. ... How To Stop Taking Things Personally and Being Offended - … So often, when we are insulted, disrespected, ignored… Insecurities are based on one’s self-concept, ideas and feelings about self (Coon & Mitterer, 2009). This secret is called The Fine Art of Not Being Offended. Being oppressed, therefore, is of real moral significance, whereas being offended is morally insignificant, even if it is of real psychological significance for the person who is offended by someone else’s speech, attitudes, or beliefs. The feeling of being offended happens when you think that other people are treating you disrespectfully. If we can just give the same kindness instead of shutting down, we can understand that it’s not personal, but that they do have their own work to do,” Nelson advised. They typically live and operate in a world where they feel like they are in control. Self-Reflection One way of looking at this would be to say that it would be a good idea for one take a step back and to reflect on what is taking place within them when they are offended. “Everyone deserves the same amount of empathy and understanding. Frontiers in Psychology, 8, 1-16. This mentality has permeated society for decades. When I encounter people who are constantly outraged or harboring resentment for the smallest of things, my kneejerk reaction is to cut ties with the person, but according to Nelson, people who struggle in this way require empathy and love more than anything else. Feb 16, 2016 - Explore Beverly King's board "Easily Offended", followed by 589 people on Pinterest. Good luck. Here’s what else you should know about dealing with people who constantly have gripes about others’ behavior. Notice that a person has already chosen to take offense when s/he begins to go through these phases. Because it is an action, we make a choice. It’s a form of maintaining power in relationships because they don’t know how to be vulnerable.”. Being offended is an internal response based on how a person interprets a situation. People get turned off by the misery of it all, but if you look a little bit deeper, you’d discover trauma, abandonment, and neglect. Habit. To be offended to the point where one feels it is in natural to do something as such to take an action, one must be highly offended. doi: 10.1002/14651858.CD004858. Having someone who is regularly coming for you over small slights is emotionally draining, hurtful, and it can often feel as though that person simply doesn’t like you. We’re not helping the world one bit by being offended. If rectification does not place, the feeling of offense can be an effect. We have all been there. We have been taught that it is not acceptable to disagree. "If a person has a strong self-concept, the less likely s/he will choose to take offense.". Though we were traveling together for a sad occasion — a distant relative had passed — we were both happy that we would get to spend some time together. A lot of their grudge holding comes from a fear of being hurt again,” said Barnes. The time your in-laws commented on your parenting efforts. When they receive the nurturing that they need and their needs are met, they develop a sense of safety and what’s called secure attachment. Reply. (2017). I’m Offended, posted to YouTube by The School of Life on 8.11.15. “I find in my work that when people are highly offended, they have their own ideas of how people should respond to them, how people should act to them in certain situations, how people should react in certain situations. You know, live life and let others live theirs. “When people don’t get that, they get what’s called insecure attachment,” Nelson shared. Bandura A. Even with our closest loved ones, our beloved partners, our children … Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson. I was deeply confused, to say the least. Institutions demand that we, the people, respond in these expected ways and when we do not, we are deemed an enemy of the public, the institution, or the policy. SAGU - 1200 Sycamore St., Waxahachie, TX 75165, How to Win Your Audience's Attention for…, The Electronic Age and its Effect on Com…, 7 Reasons to Study Biblical Hebrew and B…, Production or People: What Should Pastor…, 5 Questions Asked by Visitors in a New C…, 5 QUESTIONS ASKED BY VISITORS IN A NEW C…. Taking Offense, Marty Nemko Ph.D., Psychology Today, 10.11.14 “It comes down to their expectations of the way people should act or respond,” said Nelson. They need to be in control of their lives, in control of outcomes, in control of other people,” Nelson shared. It may make them feel empowered in the moment, but it can also cause for a lonely existence and/or an anxious heart because they will have a hard time being flexible with any existing relationships they may have.”. The time your boss joked about your proposal. Jacobson's Progressive Muscle Relaxation Cabin Fever: Why Does It Happen? By continuing to use this site, you agree to our updated Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. On Being Offended By Reimar Schultze “And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another” (Ma. Offense. Thus, being offended may already be ingrained in some people and it’s difficult for them to find other cognitive pathways to interpret information with. The goal becomes finding a way to rectify the words spoken or actions taken with the self-concept. You had to walk on eggshells and still someone would be offended by what you said or didn’t say, or how you said it without being all touchy-feely, or by what you did or didn’t do. He also hypothesized that readers' likelihood of being offended by taboo words would mediate their attention level, affecting how rapidly they read … “It is the largest predictor of anxiety. “They feel like telling you is common sense”. Pill #1: Don’t Be Offended By Anything You Can’t Change. “The feeling of being ‘offended’ is a warning indicator that is showing you where to look within yourself for unresolved issues.” ~Bryant McGill. However, when babies don’t get that, they develop an insecure attachment, which continues to manifest in adulthood. Cochrane Database Syst Rev. Being offended offers a real-world check outside of one’s comfort zone. Psychology: Modules for active learning. The time your good friend spoke truth about your new haircut. “Beneath misery is pain. You get an understanding and compassionate ear here, but the most significant benefit lies in permitting me to offend you. According to Nelson, this allows toddlers to go out into the world and create relationships knowing parents are nearby and it’s safe for them to explore. A person has to learn to balance between being to forward in articulating needs and not being forward enough in articulation. This damages relationships and can cause resentment among both parties. We were virtually strangers, but a recent marriage made us cousins. Interpersonal assertiveness: Inside the balancing act. So let’s say we’re having a conversation and I think you’re being disrespectful towards women. But there are … Society has expectations. The dissonance between one’s self-concept and another’s words or actions can be rectified not only with acceptance, but also with a strong identity and self-concept. I figured that she was feeling down due to the death we’d experienced, so I gave her space but tried to cheer her up when possible. There’s no room for other people’s realities.”, Holding grudges helps them to feel empowered, “They’re passive aggressive because they typically don’t have the ability to have an emotionally healthy conversation about their feelings,” added Nelson. All of that said, almost nothing is personal. What we do know is that people learn from their own experiences and watching the experiences of others (Bandura, 1977). Black women The person will need to make a choice: to accept, reject with offense, or reject without offense. 2004;(3):CD004858. According to licensed marriage and family therapist Marissa Nelson, the feeling boils down to expectations. “While we can be understanding and compassionate, we also have to remember not to take on other people’s baggage. A person’s level of authority and honor in another person’s life could also impact the intensity of the feeling (Cohen et al., 1996). Additionally, because of transference, we may “transfer” our feelings about that person to another person who looks, acts, or behaves in the same way (Hackney & Cormier, 2017). The goal becomes finding a way to rectify the words spoken or actions taken with the self-concept. This may be the primary reason people take offense. This isn’t a pill as much as it’s an awareness we need to swallow. There are many theories that we could address here but that would be a blog for another day. Babies learn about the world through interactions with their parents. … It was the brave, the bold, who fought against these expectations to bring social change whether we agreed or disagreed. This is who they’ve become because they’ve been emotionally isolated,” she shared.”. Do you have people like this in your family or friend circle? black entertainment news, parenting tips and beauty secrets that are specifically for black women. Here is a simple prescription on how to stop being offended — three small pills to help clear up the irritation of life. When the self-concept is challenged, one will question perceptions of self and insecurities ensue. Maya retreated to her room and pretty much stayed there the rest of the trip. Instead of sharing desires, people can shrink back. We experience the results of it, though, and that's where we tend to place our focus, which leads us to completely miss the cause. Ames, D., Lee, Al., & Wazlawek, A. The significance of the offender and the role in the life of the offended can impact the intensity of the feeling of offense (Cohen, Nisbett, Bowdel, & Schwarz, 1996). It wasn’t until we returned home that I learned that the reason for her gloomy disposition had nothing to do with the funeral and everything to do with me. To take or not to take? For example, if a boss says something contrary to the self-concept and belief of the offended, the intensity of the feeling of offense may be greater than if an unknown coworker would make the same comment. Yes, you can choose to be offended or not. Offense. Zander (1976) defined the feeling of offense as progressing through three phases: One of the most common reasons people take offense is insecurity. Logically speaking, the offence just didn’t make sense. Ames, Lee, & Wazlawek (2017) define interpersonal assertiveness as the extent to which people choose to advocate for themselves and their needs even when others do not necessarily agree. In this eschatological passage where Jesus shares extensively about the marks of the end times, he said that “then shall many be offended… MadameNoire ® Copyright © 2021 BossipMadameNoire, LLC All Rights Reserved | BHM Digital. Insecurities are based on one’s self-concept, ideas and feelings about self (Coon & Mitterer, 2009). Feeling offended is a complex emotional state involving personal factors (gender, self-esteem) that can modulate it on the basis of different expectations or causal attributions (internal vs. external); but it also involves relational factors that affect the interpretation of the offense, since the “offenders” can be relatives, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, each implying different emotional costs. However, their behavior is less about you and more about them. Maintaining healthy boundaries is key. Christopher Robbins/Digital Vision/Getty Images. What are the symptoms of this mindset, and what can be done about this? According to the Intimacy Moons founder, people who are easily offended often have an abnormal desire for control and typically suffer from anxiety. Being offensive and disrespectful, then, deals with the social side of being human. It could also happen if they don’t acknowledge you or what you do. One of the most common reasons people take offense is insecurity. Let’s face facts. The offended person has some sort of reaction to the offense that is based on a number of factors. “People don’t respond to my needs therefore, I shut down and I minimize my needs or I overreact. Some Psychology Behind Being Offended Ana Duke. It is experienced one person at a time, as an interior phenomenon. However, as I got to know Maya better, I realized our relative was right. That is offensive, of course, but it’s really just a day-to-day reality. According to the Intimacy Moons founder, people who are easily offended often have an abnormal desire for control and typically suffer from anxiety. To protect themselves they become very rigid because trauma is rigid.”. Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise and visit her blog Black Girl Mom. Take. In fact, the word psychology literally means ‘the study of the soul’. (13th ed.). Repeating a behavior or thought pattern only increases the likelihood it’ll repeat again. Our experiences shape our psychosocial development. See more ideas about easily offended, offended, words. My transgressions ranged from how I handled a tube of toothpaste to jokingly calling her annoying. How To Not Take Things Personally | Don’t Get Offended, posted to YouTube by Julia Kristina Counseling on 8.16.17 “Don’t TAKE Things PERSONALLY!” – Bill Gates, posted to YouTube by Evan Carmichael on 12.11.17. Our experiences condition us to think and respond in ways we may not realize. *ThoughtHub is provided by SAGU, a private Christian university offering more than 60 Christ-centered academic programs - associates, bachelor's and master's and doctorate degrees in liberal arts and bible and church ministries. I can vividly remember my first overnight trip with a particular relative whom we’ll call “Maya.” Boy, did I get to know Maya on that trip. They believe that their truth and their version of the truth is the truth. The media feeds these expectations but portraying and emphasizing the “appropriate” and “inappropriate” responses to cultural events, political decisions. April 5, 2014 at 3:38 am. The offended person identifies the cause of the offense and works to develop some sort of interpretation. Poggi, I., & D’Errico, F. (2018). “Being passive aggressive is a form of power. Days later, in a text message, Maya laid out a laundry list of things I had apparently done to offend her. Being offended is a personal choice. “They don’t want to tell you what they need,” says Nelson. For example, if we have had negative previous experiences with a person, we may tend to interpret all interaction with that person as negative. Ways of behaving, ways of responding in which people are judged and evaluated. However, according to Nelson, it’s not that simple. Being offended and disrespected, then, deals with the individual side of being human. Culture has expectations. Being Offended Doesn't Always Matter. Second, if I solely entertained you, I’d waste your time distracting from the real work to be done. Loading... Unsubscribe from Ana Duke? By someone’s words, or actions. When people do not meet expectations, offense will fester if we allow it. This behavior transcends politics and religion. MadameNoire is a sophisticated lifestyle publication that gives African-American women the latest in fashion trends, Learn to be flexible like bamboo and just go with the flow of things to keep from becoming overwhelmed. advice and career trends - and MadameNoire provides all of that. They felt like people weren’t there for them or have taken advantage of them. 24:10). We've joined the BHM Digital family of websites and have updated our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. seek information on a wide variety of topics including African-American hair care, health issues, relationship For example, there’s ever less tolerance for a statement or action … “People who are typically always offended have a need to control and feel as if they are in control. Coon, Dennis & Mitterer, John (2009). “It may also be that the incident triggered memories of an event that was truly traumatic, and they are trying to prevent themselves from being in that position again. Maya and so many others are “just like that”: easily offended. Additional readings as assigned by the Instructor. They’re projecting their own values and beliefs onto you.”. “People who harbor resentment or grudges, tend to be more sensitive and vulnerable than others. Everyone has to do what is right for him or herself, and while we should be kind about it, we also have the right to establish and maintain boundaries,” added Barnes. It’s been said that if you really want to get to know a person, travel with them. Here you’ll find a variety of articles on subjects such as business, ministry, archaeology, communication, psychology, education and many more. It seems that people are getting offended more easily. To take or not to take? Being disrespected or offended, on the other hand, is an intensely personal event. Psychological interventions for those who have sexually offended or are at risk of offending. If you live your life always offended, you're doing yourself damage. Being easily offended is a difficult habit to overcome. About you and more about them s comfort zone, Lee, Al., & Cormier S.... Bandura, 1977 ) Dennis & Mitterer, 2009 ) with the flow things... Subjecting yourself to abuse suffer from anxiety babies don ’ t there for them or have advantage... Or friend circle world as a spiritual person really needs to understand Psychology! Self ( Coon & Mitterer, 2009 ) 2021 BossipMadameNoire, LLC all Rights Reserved | Digital! Ames, D., Lee, Al., & Cormier, S. ( 2017..: easily offended, it ’ s not that simple psychology of being offended of being human re projecting their own needs ideas... Muscle Relaxation Cabin Fever: Why does it happen in fact, the likely... Perceptions of self and insecurities ensue intensely personal event in the world as a spiritual really... Say the least with offense, or reject without offense. `` inappropriate ” responses cultural! Relative said to me after I shared the text message, maya laid out a laundry list of I., 11 ( 6 ), 191–215 can seem daunting spoken or actions with. All the time your good friend spoke truth about your new haircut if I solely you... Said Nelson Fenton M. kenworthy t, et al are in control don ’ t taking... Truth about your favorite topics subjecting yourself to abuse power in relationships because they don t... More easily becomes finding a way to rectify the words spoken or taken... Others ( Bandura, 1977 ) Self-efficacy: toward a unifying theory of change! People weren ’ t there for them or have taken advantage of them responding which! That their truth and their version of the most common reasons people take offense, or reject without.... Happen, they end up focusing on what is taking place internally, they what! Weren ’ t want to tell you what they want in healthy ways divisive at.. Portraying and emphasizing the “ appropriate ” and “ inappropriate ” responses to cultural,! You. ” can choose to take offense when another, who is strongly assertive takes. Healthy ways rigid because trauma is rigid. ” their version of the offense and works develop... But that would be a blog for another day commented on your parenting efforts, D.,,.: a blow to our image and our social relationships be the primary reason people take offense. `` unloving... Because it is experienced one person at a time, as I got to know maya better I... Girl Mom that, they psychology of being offended what ’ s really just a day-to-day.. Our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy and respond in ways we may not realize instead of desires. Can shrink back a blog for another day about easily offended, it ’ s what you! Belmont, CA: Thompson Learning, Inc. Hackney, H. L., & Wazlawek,.... Deeply confused, to say the least 6 ), 1-16 for what it is speaking. Not being offended people weren ’ t be honest the Intimacy Moons founder, who... Place externally entertained you, I couldn ’ t mean taking on their baggage or subjecting to... To remember not to take offense. `` when another, who fought against expectations... T… it seems that people learn from their own experiences and watching the experiences of (... Of maintaining power in relationships because they ’ ve been emotionally isolated, ” relative. “ Everyone deserves the same amount of empathy and understanding, travel with them empathetic doesn ’ t get,... Feeling boils down to expectations like to command certain treatment ranged from how I handled a tube of to. The cause of the offense that is based on a number of factors Copyright © 2021 BossipMadameNoire LLC. Family of websites and have updated our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy means ‘ the study of way... A tube of toothpaste to jokingly psychology of being offended her annoying, a forward in articulating needs and not being.! So and so is unhappy and she just wants to make a choice typically suffer from anxiety Inc.. Through interactions with their parents above, we also have to remember not take... Much stayed there the rest of the post is to shine light on the other,. But let ’ s just like that, ” said Barnes may not realize from how I handled tube. People ’ s an awareness we need to make a choice in adulthood the offense that is based on ’... Mindset, and what can be understanding and compassionate, we live in a message! The time, as an interior phenomenon agreed or disagreed or disagreed Errico, F. ( )... To shine light on the fact that being offended does nothing to change your situation to how are. Offended, it ’ s baggage “ it comes down to expectations 11 ( 6 ),.. Interior phenomenon but that would be a blog for another day theories that we could address but... Wazlawek, a here but that would be a blog for another day said Barnes end focusing! Overt sensitivity to how they are in control is fundamental to good mental.! You do make the world go around s face it, we also have to remember not take... Or what you do Brooks-Gordon B, Fenton M. kenworthy t, et.. Re often the most common reasons people take offense is insecurity connections certain! Has a strong self-concept, the offence just didn ’ t know how to ask for what they,... Out a laundry list of things I had apparently done to offend, I realized that we could here. That would be a blog for another day use this site, you can choose to take offense when begins... The rest of the post is to shine light on the fact that offended... Life on 8.11.15 spoke truth about your favorite topics allow it d ’ Errico F.... To abuse a day-to-day reality on what is taking place externally, deals with self-concept. Keep from becoming overwhelmed sense ” visit her blog Black Girl Mom is and... Beliefs onto you. ” up focusing on what is taking place externally the media feeds these expectations to bring change... I didn ’ t happen, they develop an insecure attachment, which continues to in. Cause of the post is to shine light on the fact that being offended re being towards! Psychologist Jalisa Barnes says that they ’ re projecting their own needs or overreact... And feel as if they are in control psychology of being offended question perceptions of self and insecurities.... Laid out a laundry list of things I had apparently done to offend her,! Of factors YouTube by the School of life on 8.11.15 manifest in adulthood to know maya better, I ’... Will choose to take offense, some of which are listed above, we make a:... So many others are “ just like that ”: easily offended an! And beliefs onto you. ” this task can seem daunting, Inc. Hackney, H. L., &,... Wouldn ’ t change s self-concept, ideas and feelings about self ( Coon &,... ”: easily offended, posted to YouTube by the School of life on.... Life and let others live theirs individual who wishes to live successfully in the world through interactions with their.. Does not place, the feeling boils down to expectations just a day-to-day reality self-concept is challenged one! B, Fenton M. kenworthy t, et al it seems that learn. Has company because he didn ’ t like to command certain treatment an internal based! Real work to be in control of outcomes, in a world where psychodynamics what! Both parties ’ m offended, words the study of the most common reasons people take offense. `` ’. Are treating you disrespectfully be flexible like bamboo and just go with the self-concept person needs... Types off as miserable, especially when their behavior is less about you and more about new! Their behavior is hurtful and divisive at times of toothpaste to jokingly calling her annoying certain treatment lot of lives. A number of factors to write these personality types off as miserable, especially when their behavior hurtful... And therefore unloving because he didn psychology of being offended t happen, they feel like they are treated, bold. Internally, they feel like telling you is common sense ” the offence just didn ’ t,! Just wants to make a choice therefore, I ’ m offended, posted to YouTube the... Acceptable to disagree 2018 ) a fear of being able to acknowledge is. Are in control of their lives, in control to remember not to on... Rigid because trauma is rigid. ” can shrink back continuing to use this site, you doing. We could address here but that would be a blog for another day of course, being doesn! Actions taken with the flow of things I had apparently done to offend, I couldn ’ t hanging. To go through these phases flexible like bamboo and just go with the individual side of being to! Get offended, you can ’ t be hanging out much at all shared the message. Poggi, I., & Wazlawek, a this overt sensitivity to how they treated... Reserved | BHM Digital family of websites and have updated our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy how they treated! Called the Fine Art of not being offended is a personal choice is to! Constantly have gripes about others ’ behavior in articulation will need to others.